That will help you relax when it comes time to share the experience with them. I recommend getting familiar with this before having your partner go anywhere near your butt. You can practice relaxing your muscles and feeling how the sphincter loosens up. Start by inserting the tip of your finger in the shower to see how it feels. You’ll feel much more comfortable having someone else play with your butt if you’ve already done it yourself. Until then, banish your fears about painful anal and remember that it never has to hurt. I’ll go over some essential steps you can take to ensure a pain-free anal experience later on. If it does, you’re either moving too fast, not using enough lube, or both. The truth is that anal should never hurt. This is a common myth perpetuated by misinformation. You might, like many others, think that anal is supposed to hurt at first. Plus, it can enhance your relaxation and set the stage for enjoyable penetration later.Īnd not to mention, these steps can be a nicer way to ease into butt play, rather than trying to (literally) dive right in. Receiving a butt cheek massage is also immensely pleasurable. Having your partner stimulate these can be very pleasurable.
The outside of your anus is full of sensitive nerve endings. However, thinking this way means missing out on tons of fun. People who are new to anal might assume that all the action happens inside the butt. It doesn’t have to be, if you’re smart about it! 7. But do yourself a favor and get rid of the idea that anal is a gross or dirty act. People who are concerned about hygiene can follow some simple steps to ensure cleanliness (more on this later). In other words, it’s unlikely that there’s much fecal matter hanging out inside your anus. But the truth is, your rectum is just a passageway for poop. It’s Not as Dirty as You Might ThinkĪ lot of people are afraid of butt stuff because they think it’s dirty. Instead, you should set the pace as the receiver. Tell your partner not to thrust enthusiastically during your first experience. People who claim that anal sex hurts were likely rushing the process. But they need to be patient and take it slow to create a positive experience for you. Your partner may be (understandably) excited and eager to get inside your butt. Real anal sex is nothing like the kind you see in porn, and especially not in the beginning! You can then progress to taking an entire finger, or two, then introducing toys to the mix. I recommend having them pause to check in with you and make sure everything feels okay before proceeding. If that feels okay, they can start pressing in a little deeper. Have your partner very gently and slowly insert the tip of their finger. Starting with a lubed-up fingertip is best for complete anal newbies. When your anus isn’t used to being penetrated, you need to ease into the experience.Īnal foreplay, including fingering and rimming, can help the process. Pushing yourself too fast with anal play isn’t going to end well.ĭeep breathing, cuddling, and regular intercourse are all good warmups for anal sex, as they increase relaxation. The anal sphincter is slower to relax than other muscles, so you can’t rush butt stuff. Pay Attention to the Mental Aspectīutt play might seem like a purely physical act, but your mentality strongly affects the experience. Don’t use regular vaginal dildos for anal, as this can be dangerous. They also typically have a tapered design for comfortable entry. Anal toys will have a handle or flared base to ensure that they don’t get sucked up into the rectum. Choose Your Toys CarefullyĪs a beginner, you need to choose small toys for anal.īutt plugs and anal beads are a good place to begin.Įventually, you can move onto more advanced items, like vibrating wands or double-penetration toys.Īlways make sure that the toys you select are designed specifically for anal. Lube is mandatory for pleasurable butt play and absolutely essential for comfort!Ĭheck out our anal lube guide for more info on this. Gel lubricant lasts longer, so you don’t have to reapply as often. That will ensure that the product has a thicker consistency. Whether you’re engaging in some light foreplay or having full-on penetration, always use enough lube.Įither water or silicone-based lubricant works, but make sure you pick a product specifically formulated for anal play. Your anus doesn’t self-lubricate like the vagina does, so lubing it up is your job. Here are some factors to keep in mind as an anal beginner: 1. And you can’t have preparation without knowledge. You’ll never know how you feel about anal until you try it for yourself.īutt play can seem intimidating or even scary to a rookie, but preparation makes all the difference. Anal Training and Toys 12 Things Beginners Should Keep in Mind About Anal Sex